she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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