my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
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