Swine flu. Run for my life!
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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