so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
