I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Randomize
