WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
