Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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