walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
