Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
