.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Randomize