ugly people sure do ruin things
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Randomize
