I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
