Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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