As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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