You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
