I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Randomize
