i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
