i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
