i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
