I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
