Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
