I wish I could punch you in the face.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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