Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
