i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
