just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
