We're facebook friends in real life
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
