I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
