brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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