I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
