I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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