i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
3pm strippers are depressing
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Help me help you realize you are a moron
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
