I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
