You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
