I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
