awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
