Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
