Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
