So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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