That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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