So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
