Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize