just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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