My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
