Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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