I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize