I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize