ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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