she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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