Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
