Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I've blown a few things in my day
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Randomize