your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Non-Jews are for practice
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
