are you still at the devil's house?
youre lurking in front of me
it wasn't lemon gatorade
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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