All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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