Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Randomize
