I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Randomize
