Hey man sorry I got all grabby
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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