spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
